I sat at my dining room table, working at a project. My oldest daughter sat across from me, as one of them almost always does, drawing her LOL Dolls. She breaks the silence of the bonding moment when she says, completely nonchalant, “Mom, are you famous?”
Of course, my answer was “No,” but the question in and of itself halted the concentration on my project.
What has brought my 7-year-old to wonder just how important her mother is?
In the midst of this ponder, I located the path that has brought us to this mother/daughter interview. At three months old, we started with craft shows. At 5 years, she was attending meetings with me. We hit the local TV stations pretty regularly when she was 6. And now, at the ripe old age of 7, she is witness to interviews, articles, presentations, and an independent documentary.
I’ve considered the impression it would make on her as a young girl as all of this was happening. I recognized that if she could come along and witness the hard work, the conversations, and even see the things mom and her friends had built, she would be encouraged to follow her dreams and do what she loves as well.
What I hadn’t really thought about is what she would think of me as her mom.
I believe at a young age, I was ready for the “mom gig.” Cabbage Patch and Magic Nursery Babies were my test run, and my mom recently bestowed them back to me in pretty tip-top condition, so I must have been rather gentle. But whom I pretend played as a parent and who I actually am as one are two entirely different scenarios. When I was little, I was the happy mother, loving on my babies, feeding them, dressing them, tending house, talking to my husband on the phone because he was on a concert tour, you know, the usual. I imagine I had taken every mom I’d seen on sitcoms and molded those perceptions into daydreams.
Who I grew to become was my own mother. Well, sort of anyway. Bouncing back and forth from parenthood to career and scrambling with the hope that I was doing everything right. Tired, sometimes angry, emotional, and driven. I wake in the middle of the night when I remember what I forgot to do the day before. The schedule is longer than the hours in the day. I have no desire to approach it any differently. I don’t know how to stop and slow down when there are so many things that need to be done. And I want to accomplish them all.
I’m a mom, and I am passionately driven.
I knew when I took the charge to create a difference in my community that my main focus was my own children. Not because they were without, but because I wanted them to have a world better than the one I’m living in now. I want them to have peers to thrive alongside. I work for them to have opportunities that I didn’t when I was growing into who I am now. And I want them to see that dedication and determination are keys to pursuing the wildest ambitions. I do this all for their future.
But what am I doing right now?
There is more and more talk as to the satisfaction found in motherhood, in parenthood in general really. And what general studies and observations have found is that in pursuit of creating the perfect world for our children, we let go of a lot of the world we want for ourselves. And I’ve battled the perception of selfishness that I’m making too much time for what I want to do. I go out with my friends rather than the pizza and movie night in the living room. I take my girls to meetings rather than playdates. But the undeniable fact is that these are the moments where my children see their mother happy. These are the moments that bring me greater joy in life, and therefore I’m able to spend time with my children as my whole self, rather than a shadow of who I could be. I am happy; I am pleased with the life I am building for myself. I am pleased with the life I am building for my children. I am satisfied.
I had an “aha” moment as I sat at that table: I’m molding the perception of how my daughter will look back and remember her mom in her childhood. I’m building what she will view as the workload of motherhood. I’m showing her that “mother” has a definition as broad as the societies that span the globe. And I’m teaching her to identify a goal and pursue it; pursue it within the rest of the life you’ve been given. Parenthood is a blessing, not a ball and chain.
When she asked me if I was famous, I certainly said “No.”
But impactful? I dare say its time all parents acknowledge that they are.
To learn more about SAGE, Stacey’s passion project, visit their Facebook Page!!
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