Fred “Mister” Rogers was more than an American television personality. He was more than a father and husband. He was and still is, an inspiration to many, even to this day, over 16 years after his death. There are many lessons from Mister Rogers that we can use while raising our children. Here are a few of my favorites.
Some of you may have never heard of Mister Rogers, and some of you may be big fans. If you’re not familiar, please do a quick google search. If you watch any TV, you’ve likely heard about two recent films that came out in theaters that focused on Mister Rogers. The first was a documentary called Won’t You Be My Neighbor? and the second film, more of a drama, came out just a few weeks ago starring Tom Hanks: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I have yet to see the drama with Tom Hanks, but the documentary (that came out this past summer) was truly remarkable, and every day I still think about the lessons I’ve learned from it.
I highly encourage parents to watch the documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (It’s available included with your subscription of HBO Go and HBO Now, for purchase on Amazon Prime or youtube, or it’s FREE to rent from the Brown County Library!) It highlights many valuable lessons from Mister Rogers. Fred Rogers’ main focus was children, how to raise them to truly be themselves, and how to help them control their emotions in a healthy way.
Rogers once said, “Childhood isn’t just something we ‘get through.’ It’s a big journey, and it’s one we’ve all taken. Most likely, though, we’ve forgotten how much we had to learn along the way about ourselves and others.”
I’m not sure about you, but this quote really resonates with me. I feel that many days, I expect more out of my children than I do of myself. I find myself struggling, saying things like “hurry up,” “don’t worry about that,” “ask your father,” or “I don’t have time to explain that now,” when all my children need to hear is “I have time to listen to you,” “take your time,” or “let’s discuss this together.” We’re all so busy with the tasks of the day, which can make it difficult to remember that childhood truly is a journey and there is so much to learn. It takes so much patience as a parent, but we can do it if we make it a daily practice.
“The best things of life are way off stage. It’s the little epiphanies of life that matter most. It’s those moments when somebody will tell you, ‘You know you really did help me in a way that you could have never known, just by being there and just by being you.’” – Fred Rogers
Wow … what another great thought! It’s not easy, is it, moms? We see all the fancy lifestyles that some moms post on Instagram or Pinterest and think, “those kids are so lucky – their mom has got it all together!” But I think we all know that our children just want us to be ourselves and spend time with them; this may be a simple as coloring for a few minutes, playing a quick card game, or building a fort. It makes a huge difference to your child, even if it isn’t a day-long excursion to the Children’s Museum, a trip to Build a Bear, or any other wild adventure; our kids just want our undivided attention for just a little while each day. If your son or daughter is struggling, instead of trying to control how they feel or “fix the problem, just sitting with them and listening to their feelings, may genuinely help them more than any large gesture we see online or in social media.
More lessons from Mister Rogers:
“How children feel about themselves is what I care about most. If we can help our children feel accepted and valued when they are small, they’ll have a better chance of growing into adults who can feel good about who they are, too.” – Fred Rogers
Have you ever looked at your child when he or she is feeling unaccepted and diminished, and thought – if he/she continues to feel this way about him/herself, what kind of adult will he/she become? I sure do! Perhaps it’s my anxious personality, but I’m always thinking about feelings, especially my children’s, and how what they’re doing now – how they are feeling today – may very likely affect the person they become as adults.
I think we all feel one of our main jobs as mothers is to lift up our children. To always accept them and love them no matter what happens; of course, we all know this is important, but to actually put this into action every day is tough! Saying things like “don’t cry” or “don’t be angry” may give our children the impression that he/she is not accepted and that his/her feelings are not valued. If that continues, he/she may grow up to have low self-esteem, and we all know how damaging that can become, even in childhood and most certainly in adulthood.
“The greatest thing we can do is to help somebody know that they are loved and capable of loving.” – Fred Rogers
What a gift we have as mothers to practice this every day: to show our children we love them, exactly as they are, and that they can show love to others every day, too.
If you have not heard of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, I encourage you to look it up! It’s an animated television show that debuted in 2012 on PBS Kids, and it’s produced by Fred Rogers’ nonprofit company. It’s built on the foundation of Fred’s Neighborhood of Make-Believe. I can honestly say it has helped my parenting in huge ways and has also taught my children some great lessons. And yes, of course, we all try to limit screen time for our children, but some days we just need a break! And this is my go-to show to help build on the lessons I am trying to teach my children. Each episode focuses on a different emotion or event in a child’s life. For example, what to do when you’re mad, learning to go potty, getting your first haircut, what happens when your goldfish dies, etc. Check it out – you won’t be sorry!
Lastly, one more addition to the many lessons from Mister Rogers to help you ponder a bit more on how we can make a difference every day in our children’s lives:
“Deep and simple are far more important than shallow and complicated.” – Fred Rogers
You may also like: Teaching Kindness: 3 Rules for Raising Kind Kids
For more information:
https://www.fredrogers.org/production/mister-rogers-neighborhood/
https://www.fredrogers.org/production/daniel-tigers-neighborhood/
https://www.misterrogers.org/about-fred-rogers/
