“Just cried over spilled breastmilk again.” And Other Texts to My Mom Confidante


Mom ConfidanteEveryone needs at least one “Mom Confidante.” Call her what you want – your BFF, your #momlife friend. Women used to do laundry together on washboards out in the yard because they needed their mom friends. 2018 doesn’t exactly lend itself to laundry day friendships, and often friends move far away. Some of us are struggling to maintain long-standing friendships. Some of us are longing for close friendships and struggling to find them. Whether you live near your friends or not, text messages can become a regular way to communicate our quick thoughts, especially our parenting successes and failures. Honestly, even if my mom confidante lived nearby, I don’t want to say some of these things out loud. No matter how far apart you are, get yourself a mom confidante texting buddy, or three if you are lucky. 

It all starts with one brutally honest text message, perhaps to an old high school or college friend that also has kids. And after a while, this confidante is the person you text when you accidentally pee your pants again at work. This is who you drunk text from the bathroom of a work holiday party even though you are too old to be drunk texting. This is who you text to confess you forgot to dress your kids in green on St. Patrick’s Day when every other kid at daycare looks like an Irish leprechaun. And this confidante won’t judge you, because they’re texting you the same things. 

Here are some examples of texts my confidante and I have exchanged:texting mom

“Just got slammed with a matchbox car in my eye socket. I’m about 300% done with today.”

“Four out of five humans in my house have the flu, and the dog just barfed.” (To which she replied “Burn the house down. Now. Get out of there.”)

“My kid can’t bring any kind of treat to daycare for her birthday because there are so many allergies. She brought paper plates to pass out… I feel like that’s a little sad.” 

“How do I make a CAKE?” (To which my reply was “Buy the box, follow the directions, and don’t feel guilty.”)

“The daycare just called me at work to tell me my son is out of back-up clothes. And he’s cold.”

“I just pooped with a kid on my lap. There is no door strong enough in my house to keep them out.”

“What do I send for show and tell day when the letter is I? A bag of ice? This is way harder than it should be.”

Two hours later; “Epic fail. It was H day.”          

There is no room for judgement in our text exchanges, but plenty of room for sarcasm, a quick rant, or a quick laugh. I wish more than anything that she lived nearby so we could get together for wine or lunch regularly like friends do in movies. I’d like to think we’d wear lipstick and tell witty stories and joke like the two moms on the #imomsohard videos. I’d like to think we’d laugh and catch up for a two hour lunch once a week at some chic restaurant. Our friendship likely wouldn’t look like that if we lived close because my friendships don’t look like that with anyone right now, near or far. We are all just so busy trying to survive as parents.

The point of having this friend is to fully embrace the ups and downs of these crazy parenting years, and to feel less alone. We fail often. We’re not perfect. We’re messy. But we all are. Being a parent is messy. Being a spouse is messy. Being a good friend is even messy. But it’s also hilarious. Embrace the messiness of life, laugh about it, text about it, and share it with your mom confidante – your texting buddy. I guarantee you’ll both feel a lot better. 

What are some of the best texts you’ve gotten from your Mom Confidante?


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Jolene grew up in Luxemburg, WI. After going to college in Stevens Point and working for a year in the Milwaukee area, she moved to De Pere, WI to get married, start a family, and pursue her career. Both the youngest of six, Jolene and her husband always wanted a big family. After struggling to get pregnant, their family was jump-started by having identical twin girls, Eden and Ellie, who are now 5. Then came Jude, who will be 3 in August, and they just welcomed James, Baby #4, in June. Both she and her husband work, and Jolene owns her own company, www.howtoconcerts.com, planning large scale entertainment events across the country. Because she has to travel for work, Jolene has used a breast pump while flying, driving, walking and talking, and has the war stories to prove it. Her keys to success (aka survival) are the members of her support system, starting with her husband and extended family, and ending with good coffee and a sense of humor.