I spend more time on Facebook than I care to admit. I delete it from my phone periodically only to re-add it for some important reason. But it’s got good stuff sometimes. I get a lot of great parenting ideas from some of my groups. One that I’m in had a great discussion about anxiety the other day, specifically as it relates to mom guilt.
Mom guilt is real, y’all. It’s brutal and it’s real. And although the group is one that I don’t always participate in, I was super stoked to see how everyone built each other up. And I think that kind of supportive environment is really and truly critical to helping moms rise above the anxiety and the mom guilt.
Because we’re always going to wonder if we’re enough. If we’re offering enough healthy foods, encouraging enough activity, spending enough time fostering a love of science and reading. If we’re spending enough time with our kids and off of our phones. (Raise your hands if this one is a hot button for you — it is for me!)
But I think the thing is, you have to embrace your imperfections and failings despite the mom guilt.
We are NOT perfect. We make mistakes. And for everything we do right, we’re screwing our kids up for life in some other way. Truly.
Because at the end of the day, you ARE enough. Despite the worries, despite the perceived mom guilt, we can flip it around. So instead of worrying how we are screwing our kids up, focus on how for everything we do wrong, we also do a whole host of other things right.
So you are enough.
By the simple fact that you’re doing your best and worried about how you’re doing, that says that you care. And truly loving your kids and doing the best you can counts for a heck of a lot.
And if at the end of the day, you had some massive screw up or lost your cool completely because they pushed your buttons, you know what? Don’t let mom guilt take over. That’s life, and how you act afterward will teach them about forgiveness, grace and accountability.
AND, almost every time, we do the absolute best we can with whatever we are given. It’s usually pretty far from perfect, and it’s NOT something you should dwell on since not a single one of us can go back and change the past.
Unless you’re truly looking at mental footage to see how you can do better, Monday morning quarterbacking accomplishes nothing. So yes, do your best to rise above, but dwelling on how you could have done better isn’t worth the anxiety 99% of the time.
Trust me mama, you’ve got this.